It takes a village

While I was on family leave my top priority was to find quality child care for Ivy.  The thing is, though, that every time I tried calling child care agencies I started weeping and I rarely was able to actually finish dialing the phone number.   We thought that we had found excellent family care, but it fell through.  I was devastated and worried and lost sleep.  I remained calm by telling myself that my mother would help us care for Ivy during those early weeks when we were both at work, but I knew that it was unfair and unrealistic to ask her and Dad to disrupt their lives for too long.  Then I dreamed up a plan and released it to the cosmos, and, well, my dream came true.  When Kevin and I return to work our little girl is going to be spending her days with one of my dearest, best friends  - our honeybee-dancer, Markie.  Markie is the person who taught me how to be a children's librarian, how to listen to children and how to see the world through their eyes.  She was with me when I brought Edgar home to my tiny apartment above the Marilyn School of Dance in LaCrosse, where she helped me bathe him and give him medicine after he tore my arms to shreds.  Markie took care of me in college when I was too stubborn to realize that I needed someone to look after me and made sure that I ate well.  She magically appeared in Corning the day before Kevin and I got married and blessed our wedding day with her presence.  And now . . . she's moving to Madison and is going to help us care for our daughter.  Words cannot express how overjoyed I am to have Markie in our daily lives and how fortunate our little girl is to have this amazing woman care for her while we're at work.  Thanks to Markie's influence, I know that Ivy is going to develop into a child who respects the earth, loves music and who will learn how to charm honeybees from their hives.

There's no way I could make this dream happen all on my own.  My friends, Kimi & Marjorie, own a house just a few blocks from our home.  Their primary residence is in California and they only use their Madison home during the summer and few other times the year.  Because they love Ivy so much, they are providing their place for Markie to live and Ivy is going to grow up knowing that her Tantes Markie, Kimi and Marjorie live in this amazing house.  My sister suggested this arrangement and her dreams for her niece have helped us make this reality, too.  Kimi has been my rock for over 20 years and it feels like I've known Marjorie (aka, Tante Mimi) for that long, too.  Thanks to their influence, Ivy will develop into a child who cares for her friends & family, is fiercely protective of them and who goes the extra mile to help her loved ones realize their dreams.  

Despite my ramblings, I am speechless - I am touched by all the love that surrounds our little girl and I am honored to be a part of a community of family and friends that profoundly cares for one another.  We are here in Madison, spread out across the region and live throughout the country (and, depending on where Tia Lisa is currently based & saving the planet, around the world) and I know that my family is supported by a community that only grows stronger and more committed to each other with each passing year.  

Thank you, Dear Friends.  Ivy has already been touched by the hands of so many amazing people.

Sweet professions

When I grow up I want to be a:






First I'll hone my skills by playing pat-a-cake over & over with my Aunt Kersten:


Then my cousin and I will buy matching outfits and we'll devour cookbooks until we find the world's most perfect cupcake recipes:



But, until then, I'm going to spend lots of time hanging out in river town bakeries with my Grandma



and Grandpa.






(And I'll observe how an expert baker makes the magic happen by spending lots of time crawling around with my cousins on our grandma's spotless kitchen floor.)





And, speaking of professions and what we want to be when we grow up, I returned to work today after a 12-week family leave. The last few weeks have been difficult for me. I was quite sick in mid-February (which accounts for the lack of brilliant posts this month) and last week I grew sad every time I thought of all the special moments I would miss throughout the day when my family leave came to an end. But today was truly wonderful and the most difficult part of the day was walking out the door at 7:00 this morning. I've missed my friends at work, all of whom have been fiercely supportive of us over the past 9 months, and today they welcomed me back to the office with a lovely surprise breakfast of homemade quiches, muffins, sweet breads and fruit. I accomplished so much today and this long break has allowed me to step back and view my routines in a new light and change those that are ineffective or no longer working for me. I've returned to the office with a renewed sense of purpose and vigor and I'm looking forward to working on some special projects in the weeks ahead. Heartfelt thanks to all my working mom friends and to my loving mom & sister for letting me cry on their shoulders and for sharing their strength and wisdom.


Kevin is now on family leave for the next several weeks and knowing that the Loves of my life are spending their days together makes my heart swell. I returned home shortly before Ivy woke up from her afternoon nap and Kevin and I sat down with cups of tea and talked about our days before Ivy awoke - being home when she woke up and getting her out of her crib this afternoon was glorious. She smiled at and reached for me and I held her in my arms and inhaled her sweet baby sleepiness. I know that I'll be exhausted from time to time and I know that there will be days when I feel like I'm an unwilling participant in a juggling act, but I needed today to show me that I will be able to balance both parts of my life.

Working on a building

Kevin's wonderful (and very cool) colleagues at the Max Kade Institute and the Center for the Study of Upper Midwestern Cultures recently held a welcome home party for Ivy on the coldest day of the season.  Ivy fell in love with everyone and enjoyed her time with all the Germans, linguists and folklorists.  I think that we might have a trilingual child in our house if these folks have their way.  She received many thoughtful presents: a stuffed penguin, a luscious fleece blanket, a Target gift card, and  Professor Cora Lee and Herr Christian Kluge gave Ivy a fantastic Christmas present - a very hip Brio block set that matched her party outfit.  There are many blocks in this set and Ivy is still having fun unpacking the box and putting each one in her mouth.  I think this shows that she's already working on her very early math skills.

Special thanks to Antje and Grant for hosting the party and opening your warm & sunny home and hearts to Ivy.  She'll be back to sit on your laps and to play with your Birkenstocks.

The CALL!

So, how did the rest of you spend your weekend?  We're spending the weekend packing for a trip to.... Detroit!  We are meeting Ivy and bringing her HOME on Wednesday, November 26.  Hurrah!  The agency in Korea completely surprised us and instead of us flying to Seoul, as we intended to do since the beginning of our adoption journey, they are sending Ivy to Detroit with a loving, experienced escort.  We don't know what happened and this is an extremely rare situation, but I am unconcerned about the specifics - the most important thing is that our daughter is coming home next week and that the three of us will be together for Thanksgiving and for the rest of our lives.  Kevin and I are spending this weekend by going out for dinners and movies, cooking and freezing some meals for our homecoming feast and preparing for our cloistered, special days alone at home where the three of us will start bonding and begin to define who we are as a family.  Thank you to everyone who sent positive thoughts our way.  I am touched by everyone's love and thoughtfulness and I'm looking forward to bringing Ivy home to this amazing community of compassion.  

Gratitude

How can I truly express my gratitude to Ivy's foster mother and foster father, the loving people who have cared for her for most of her 7 1/2 months?  We speak different languages and we've grown up on completely opposite curves of the globe, yet we're connected by our one baby girl.  Kevin and I are so grateful for this special couple and we hope that we've clearly told them, through translation, how we recognize that part of who Ivy grows up to be will be thanks to the loving care they provided during her early months.

Adoptive parents traditionally give gifts of thanks to their baby's foster parents when they travel to Korea to bring their child home.  Kevin and I want to make sure that our gifts are special and heartfelt.  And I cannot imagine more meaningful gifts than this gorgeous wooden bowl that my dad turned and this beautiful dresser scarf that my mother embroidered.  I recently listened to a podcast interview with Gary Snyder who said that every piece of art that we create is a gift for the entire world.  I think that this sentiment fittingly describes the art that my parents created for the loving people who have been caring for their granddaughter.  They created these pieces  in their home in western Wisconsin and are now sending their creations across the world.  Thanks, Mom and Dad, for sharing your talents with the dear people who love Ivy as much as we all do.  I imagine that these invaluable items will travel with us in our carry-on bags; not because I'm afraid that our checked luggage will be lost, but because I'll need them close to my heart during the long journey to Seoul.

7 months old

Ivy turns 7 months old today.  She's always in our thoughts and today Kevin and I are trying to imagine the sound of her voice and thinking about how much she's changed since her referral photos were taken.  If we don't receive new photos soon I think that I'll go out of my mind.  Kevin & I celebrated Ivy's 7 months by purchasing an Ergo baby carrier and an adorable little dress that she'll wear when she's home in Madison.

We're making progress and earlier this week we received word from the state of WI telling us that all of our state pre-adoptive requirements have been met and that our documents have been forwarded to US Citizenship & Immigration Services for the next, giant, step in bringing Ivy home.  We don't know how long this next step will take, but when I told my friend Yvonne that we were at this point she, half-jokingly, said, "So... have you started packing?"  We know that we're going to be waiting for a while before we receive the travel call, but it's so reassuring to know that the wheels are turning and that we're continuing to move forward.  

We're really focusing on getting her bedroom ready and last night we pulled all the grown-up books out of the bookcases in her room and replaced them with board and picture books. We're also identifying potential images that Kevin is going to paint on canvases that we'll hang on the walls.

Thanks to everyone who has been sending their thoughts, wishes and prayers to Ivy. We're feeling the force of your love.